Dies Lunae xii October XXXIII

Life is no better today than yesterday. I have nothing to do; no energy to even get up and move. My mind alone is active – it recalls the events of what seems a lifetime ago. I think back to the time when my body was full of life, when my mind was willed with determination for victory – the victory of my beloved Germanicus. Back in AD 14 I remember the vast number of soldiers under Germanicus’ command: 8 legions in all, 40 000 soldiers plus just as many auxiliary troops. And they were all stationed on the River Rhine. A magnificent sight! The strength of the Roman Army and their power in numbers always gives me a thrill, especially knowing they are all under my beloved’s command.

Life was swell in those days. Grandfather Augustus was still alive (and if only he still were, for then I would at least be treated with a good measure of decency and respect). I remember the loving words he sent in the letter with my son Gaius to Germany. He said: “Good bye, my dear Agrippina. Keep well as you return to your Germanicus.” I have never felt so loved by any man besides my own dear husband. My grandfather, bless his soul, passed-on on the 19^th of August that year making Tiberius emperor. If only one could reverse those events and Germanicus was there instead. I would spit upon Tiberius’ ashes if only his death should so precede mine. I know now the extent to the deceit of his soul, the depraved nature of his thirst for power and his fear of loosing it that drove my beloved to an early death. Tiberius has marked my life and that of so many others. But he will not succeed forever. Although I have tried as much as I am able, I do believe one of my own sons will one-day rule that glorious throne.