Dies Dominica xi October XXXIII

Life is anguish in this godforsaken place. No luxuries, no decent food or drink, nothing worthy for a dignified human being anyway. My strength is failing me. I recall those days of the Rhine when I was seven months pregnant, and yet, I found strength to care and tend for wounded soldiers. I even stood guard like a military general on the bridge over the river. O, that was thrilling! To be in charge of such a great force – that is what it must be like to have power and true authority as a man. I wish for that thirst for life; that drive and energy to meet life head on.

But now my body is weak and weary beyond measure. It requires so much effort even to write a portion on this parchment. Nevertheless, my mind remains clear (only I would say it has aged considerably in the years I have been on this island). Exile is no place for a woman, especially one of such breeding. Exile is a ghastly; it belongs only to men like Tiberius and his evil accomplice Sejanus – the ones who put me here.

I see it all now, why Tiberius sent Germanicus to the East, why he set up Piso (just to keep an eye on us); and how, through Piso, he crafted Germanicus’ death (O, my beloved, how I miss you so). I know Tiberius was behind everything, even in that he deceived my sons and falsely accused my friends and relatives, only because of their associations with me.

O, how I wish I could change those days….

I must stop writing now. I hear the guards coming. I do not want them to find this parchment. If Tiberius hears of it, he would make every effort to turn this horrible life of mine even worse. I do not want to give him more reason to flog me. One eye is enough.